1. Oatmeal, when cooked in the microwave, is not only hot, but when you add the Splenda and butter and milk, it's slippery!
2. When said oatmeal is hot and slippery, it's best eaten in the kitchen, not transported to the living room, even if you do want to catch a new decorating show on Fine Living that you've been meaning to see.
3. If said oatmeal does slip out of your hand into the living room floor, it will splatter everywhere.
4. Splattered oatmeal bears an appalling resemblance to something that one of the kids might have thrown up, but try to remember that the smell is not the same..it's just your imagination. And you still have to clean it up, no matter how much you are gagging.
a. It's best if the lid to the laptop is securely closed. Then the splattered oatmeal does not get into the keyboard and Lord only knows where else.
b. The floor is going to be slick and wet and sticky.
c. A basket of clean clothes, sitting in the floor waiting to be folded and put away, will have to be washed and dried again before it can be folded and put away.
d. A small dry towel and a wet mop are much better for cleaning up the mess than a large wet towel and a dry broom.
e. You will have to use Pine sol to clean up the slick and sticky.
f. Oatmeal, when allowed to dry just a little, will adhere nicely to upholstered furniture, front doors, air conditioning vents and huge water guns. And flip flops. And feet. And pj bottoms.
5. You will have to change clothes after the mess is cleaned up. See above.
6. When making the second bowl of oatmeal after the disaster, be sure to check the milk before you pour it on the cereal. It could be bad. If you pour it then check it, you have to make a third bowl. And, that will help explain the smell, which might not have been totally imaginary.
7. Oatmeal does not taste as good as I thought it would.
That's what I learned today!!