This day started with such promise. It's a warm day but not too warm. I woke up on time and got my first cup of coffee down before 6 am. I had big plans for today--I was going to get my laundry done early-I actually did some yesterday, so it was doable. I was going to clean my kitchen and both bathrooms, then tackle the jumbled up mess in the laundry room. I was going to get all the Halloween stuff in it's own box, all the Thanksgiving stuff in it's own box, all the Christmas, Valentines and Easter stuff in their own boxes, then each box safely tucked away until next Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentines Day or Easter. I WAS going to do that. Now..
...I'm just hoping to get through the day without a major malfunction or meltdown. Or should I say ANOTHER malfunction or meltdown.
The first crisis of the day came at 6:30 when I realized that Lynn was not up. I hurried into the bedroom and rousted him out, then headed to the laundry room to start the first load of wash for the day. I got the boys awake, and Jacob and Benjie actually got up. After much cajoling, begging and finally threatening, I got Jonah to sit up in bed. I left him there and went to make breakfast-ok, to put the poptarts in the toaster-and get snacks and lunchmoney ready. Of course, i had no one dollar bills, so I had to scrounge up quarters for lunch money today until I could get some change. Lynn left, and Jonah finally came to breakfast. He didn't eat or anything, he just came to the kitchen and whined about Benjie. I went to the laundry room to switch around laundry and start another load, feeling pretty smug that it was 7:20 am and I was on my second load of wash. Then the phone rang-caller id said it was Lynn. I answered and discovered he had a blown out tire on his truck and was sitting in the middle of the busy street. He needed a ride to the local convenience store to get some air in his spare. At 7:20 a.m. We leave at 7:30 a.m. for school, and operate on a tighly coordinated schedule. There's no room for side trips to the air pump. However, what's a wife to do? So I started gathering up the kids to go early...when the phone rang again. It was Lynn. He THOUGHT he'd be ok with his spare the short distance to the store, so don't worry about it. Whew! That's a relief-short lived relief, as it turns out.
Jonah has no shoes and no backpack. He can't find either. I point out the shoes that he left by the front door last night and he informs me that they have dog poop on them and he can't wear them to school. I tell him to either put on the poopie shoes or find the red ones. He can't do either, evidently, because he's too busy lying on the floor and crying. I finally get the non-poopie shoe on him and head him out the door while I de-poop the other one. He is still crying and I'm giving it some serious thought myself. We go out the back door, him with one shoe on, his lunch money envelope with quarters jingling and his small bag of chips for snack in his hand, because he can't find his backpack. I plan to scrap the poopie shoe on the grass to clean it, but that was some tough poop. I had to go back into the house to get a papertowel-but I'd locked the door. I had to find my keys, go back in and find a papertowel to scrap the poop off with and get back to the van. I glanced at the clock-7:35. We are now 5 minutes off our tightly crafted schedule. I hurry to the van, wiping poop and gagging as I go.
Monday is trash day, so the big trash can is at the street, so I just lay the poop filled papertowel on the ground by the back steps and finally get in the van. I start the van and start backing down the driveway when Benjie starts yelling "Watch out, watch out". I slam on the brakes and look to see what the problem is-about a half block down the street is the trash truck. By the time I realize that I'm not about to be slammed by a trash truck, the truck is parked across our driveway, blocking the driveway. So I sit and wait for what seems like forever for the truck to move, then manage to back out in front of another car. Narrowly avoiding a collision, I rush down the street, stop and pick up the nieces and head to school. We are now 7 minutes behind schedule.
We get to the elementary school and let the little ones out without mishap. Then, we get behind a school bus. A very cautious school bus. We sit at a stop sign for-no lie-3 minutes. For those keeping tabs, that makes us 10 minutes off schedule.
Finally on our way, I'm starting to relax a little bit. I call Lynn just to check on his little fiasco and see how things are going. He says he almost has his tire changed, and thinks everything will indeed be ok to drive to the air pump. Another piece of good news. I also call my mom to tell her that I may be a little late for our walking date. She says that's ok, she'll be ready when I am. She asks if she can help with anything, and I just ask her to pray for me. We are OFF SCHEDULE!!
We finally get to school, but not without almost rear ending a jeep stopped in traffic. I knew it was bad when my niece, Kourtney, says "Aunt Cathy, I'm going to need you to go home and take a bubble bath and relax a little bit after this". Evidently she doesn't read my blog.
Anyway, I got the big kids delivered and called Lynn-all was good on his part, he made it to the store, got his air and was on his way to work. I called Mom to tell her that I was ready to walk after all....no answer. Ok, she's probably in the bathroom. I waited a couple of minutes, then tried again. No answer. The way the day had gone already, I pictured her lying on the kitchen floor with a broken hip, unable to answer the phone. So, I bypassed my house and went straight to hers, fingers poised on the cell phone to call 911. She was sitting on her front steps, gardening gloves and coffee cup at hand, pulling weeds from the flowerbeds. I said something about her not answering her phone and me being worried, when she held up her cell phone and said "I thought you'd call me on this. That's why I have it you know". Sigh. Yes, I know.
So we walked without incident and as we walked up to my house, I discovered the back door was standing wide open. I just sighed, closed it and walked on. Of course, I hadn't locked it on my way out and it hadn't closed tightly, so the wind blew it open. Unfortuantely, no one came in and took anything-it's still all there, waiting to be placed in it's own box and properly stored.
The fiasco morning continued-I made myself some toast and as I was getting the brand new tub of margarine out of the fridge I dropped it and it landed upside down on the floor. Without the lid. Brand new tub-the big one. Upside down, people.
So, I scooped up what didn't hit the floor, wiped up what did, and plopped myself on the couch and watched two episodes of "Who's Wedding is it Anyway?" To heck with the laundry and the bathrooms and the holiday boxes.
I should have been a cowboy.
Forty Shades of Green
1 day ago